WHAT BRAND OF JERKY DO YOU USE?
Because of licensing restrictions and other limitations, we can't disclose our suppliers. However, we can tell you that this is the legendary brand of jerky once used by Greek gods when Broquets were laid upon the graves of their fallen. We can also say that it is made from solid cuts of meat - none that pressed-and-formed or snack stick "meat in a tube" nonsense.
CAN I ORDER A HALF DOZEN? DO I HAVE TO GET A MUG? WHAT ABOUT VEGETARIAN OPTIONS?
Henry Ford originally offered the Model T in any color a customer wanted so long as it was black. We plan to allow customization and have other products we're looking forward to introducing in the future. Until then, the more you support us, the closer you'll be to your dreams of a tofu Broquet.
HOW ARE THE BROQUETS PACKAGED? DO THEY ARRIVE ALREADY ARRANGED?
No florist we know of has figured out how to ship flowers already in the vase, so yes, some assembly is required. Each Broquet comes packaged in biodegradable, FDA approved, starch-based peanuts (you can eat them - they're . . . well, they're okay). Roses are wrapped in foam netting just to be sure they arrive intact. These can be removed by carefully tearing or cutting. Just like real flowers, each stem is a little fragile, so care must be used to remove them from the packaging and place them in the glass (or directly into your mouth).
WHAT IF THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH MY ORDER?
Say it ain't so! What happened? We want to make sure that every customer is 118.25% happy with their Broquets, so if something went wrong, let us know using our Contact page so we can make things right.
AAHHHH!!! I MESSED UP MY ORDER! CAN I CANCEL OR MODIFY IT?
Of course! Head on over to the Contact page, select either "Change Order" or "Cancel Order," and let us know what we need to do. However, we know how anxious anyone would be to get their Broquets, so we package and ship them quickly. Please let us know about any changes within a few hours of placing your order so we can make corrections before sending it out.
HOW MUCH IS SALES TAX AND SHIPPING?
No one likes extra fees when they are hungry. That's why we've decided to pay sales tax for any order that would require it and include basic shipping for free. We know, we know - we love you, too.
DO YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER?
As much as we would love to chat with you about how tasty our Broquets are, we're just too busy making them right now! Moving forward, we plan on having a toll-free number for support and orders, but for now, drop us a line using our Contact or Social pages.
HOW LONG WILL A BROQUET STAY FRESH?
If the delicious aroma doesn't tempt you and others from devouring your entire Broquet within the first hour of arrival, you need to be sure to consume it eventually. Jerky is considered shelf-stable and will keep from spoiling for several months (generally, close to a year). Each Broquet is packaged in an air-tight bag with an oxygen-absorbing packet for freshness. An unopened bag should be consumed before the 'Best By' date marked on the package. Once the bag is opened, the jerky will remain fresh for 1-2 weeks if kept in a sealed container. If the jerky is left in the open on display, it should be consumed within 1 week, but we strongly suggest that it be regularly covered to prevent the jerky from drying out.
WHAT IF I HAVE A FOOD ALLERGY?
Unless you're allergic to deliciousness, we don't want a food allergy to stand in the way of you and a Broquet! Check out the nutrition information linked on our product pages, and after you order, head over to our contact page to send us a message with your order number and what you're allergic to. We'll make sure to clean our equipment before making your Broquet. However, if you are extremely sensitive to cross-contamination, please note that we do use the same equipment for each flavor at this time. Also, there may be a one day delay in processing these orders to allow time for cleaning.
BROQUET? DID YOU SPELL THAT WRONG? IS THAT A SEXIST JOKE?
Absolutely not to both questions! Yes, they are called BROquets just to be a little witty, and while most of our purchases are gifts for men, we don't discriminate - ladies like meat, too! Why not pick up something different for that special girl in your life?
DO YOU SHIP TO MILITARY INSTALLATIONS?
Know what our men and women in uniform need? Protein. At Say It With Beef, we support our troops, and to show our appreciation for their sacrifices, we gladly ship Broquets to APO/FPO addresses for free!
AM I ABLE TO TRACK MY ORDER?
We know how anxious you are for your delicious Broquet to arrive, so every package has a tracking number that will be provided via email after the order is placed.
DO YOU SHIP INTERNATIONALLY?
We really want to send our Broquets to you in Elbonia,* but we're honestly not not sure about customs law and don't want to get in trouble. At the moment, we only ship to the United States. If you're interested in placing an order and know more than we do (you probably do), shoot us message!
+10 points if you got that Dilbert reference.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SUREPOST?
The free shipping uses what is called UPS SurePost, and it is a little bit different from standard UPS services. Basically, UPS ships to your local post office, and the Postal Service makes the final delivery. Because of this hand-off, SurePost does not have a guaranteed transit time like the other services, but it generally only takes a day longer than UPS Ground (though it can occasionally take two). Be aware that SurePost is only intended for residential deliveries, and any failed delivery attempts will be the responsibility of the customer. Also, unlike other UPS services, we have no capabilities to perform package intercepts, modify the delivery address, schedule a redelivery, etc.
I WANT AN ORDER DELIVERED ON PRECISELY FEBRUARY 30TH AT NOON. CAN YOU DO THAT?
While the standard UPS services have a guaranteed maximum number of days in transit, but nothing prevents your Broquet from arriving early. In most normal shipping situations, customers consider that to be a good thing. However, when it is a gift you want delivered on a specific day, it makes things a bit difficult, and there isn't really any guarantee that it won't arrive early.
The best way to request an order to be delivered on a specific day would be to place an order and send us a message with the date you wish the package to be delivered. We will then ship it out on the day required for it to arrive based on UPS's transit estimates.
CAN YOU CHANGE MY DELIVERY ADDRESS, PERFORM A PACKAGE INTERCEPT, OR REDELIVER MY PACKAGE?
For any non-SurePost shipments, we have the ability to do things like re-routing shipments in transit, change addresses, etc, and we are more than happy to assist. However, many of these services require an additional fee from UPS. These charges are not included in the cost paid for shipping, and and it is up to the customer to pay any additional fees that may be required.
If a package fails to be delivered and is returned to us, we are charged a fee from the carrier for return service. We are happy to reship your order and waive this fee, but you will be responsible for the cost of a second shipping attempt. If you decide to cancel your order instead, you will be refunded for your purchase minus the cost of the return fee. This applies to any orders which fail to deliver due to an incorrect address, selecting SurePost for a commercial delivery, etc or any other situation resulting in a return not caused by an error on our behalf.